I've been feelin' kinda down since election night, I won't lie. So in order to keep myself from jumping off the closest bridge, I've come up with...
10 Positive Things About a Trump Presidency
1. Pennsylvania’s own James Buchanan will no longer be ranked as the Worst President Ever.
2. Orange really is the new black.
3. Yes, world. We DO have a sense of humor.
4. The adjective “very,” long frowned-upon by grade school teachers everywhere, will make a huge comeback.
5. We win, North Korea! There is now a world leader more crazy and unpredictable than Kim Jong Un!
6. Graffiti artists everywhere, rejoice! There will soon be a 1,989-mile wall to paint on.
7. The White House gets brand new gold-plated toilets.
8. Vladimir Putin is the recipient of the other half of a silver-plated Best/Friends heart necklace from Claire’s.
9. Hoffman-LaRoche, makers of Valium, will rake in huge profits.
10. There won’t be a Donald Trump reality show for at least four years.
